Colhelo wasnt playing around when he said your greatest challenge was yourself.
Well...I really understood the truth behind this statement today actually.

The day was good you know. I was smiling being myself.
Then I had to do homework. I started doing research. And it was as if a light switch went off in my head. I was like fuck..I just cant do this anymore.
I dont want to see another printer, another piece of paper, another library anotehr anything that reminds me of writing papers.
I swear I just lost it. Lost it like this pent up rage just let loose and I couldnt take it anymore.

SO I figured going out would help. Not really. I mean I was with good people as usual. There's always good people around. I went to a movie, Tsosti (I didnt like it...just reinforced every sterotype that exists about the black man and woman that is out there), then I went to the mercury lounge (most beautiful poem Ive ever heard about love was performed), and then I said good bye to Earnesto.

Through out these festivities..I didnt speak much. I didnt really say anything. I was just so fedup of writing papers and doing school and being stressed that I think it just got to me...in the sense that I was so tired that I didnt want to speak anymore.
This month has been quite rough for me as I have been getting weird amounts of sleep..and on top of that the fatigue I have from being in school for five years. I think its just this sense of feeling burnt out.

I remember that this similar scenario of me being quite happened in high school as well...in my senior year. I snapped....got tired for a day and didnt say anything to anyone. Its what happens when I'm burnt out I just dont feel like talking to anyone and all I want to do is just be myself and figure out how im going to get through what I'm going through.

But thats life I think. You get tired. You have to do things you dont want to do. But...those who are successful find a way to overcome the biggest challenge of all: themselves. At least for me it is. Figuring out how to find happiness in everytihng..especially in a time like this where I am tired..but still have to keep going and not let my sprits get down because of anything related to school. I dont want to remember my last days in ottawa like this.

It just comes down to making a choice. Making a choice to be positive or negative as hell.
For me I'm going to choose to positive. I guess today was one of those days that I had to go to hell to see the light. But thats alright...life works like that. Its weird..and we all have our bad days..and just gotta make the next one better.

I've made a choice to believe in myself that I can get through this and not let all this stress get to me. i'm going to enjoy this. While I may be sick and tired of school and hate it right now, I have to deal with it and take it one word at a time. Sometimes thats all ya can do...just take it man.
:)

So that it..I have found some new loves in life.
Zola and Corneille. Beautiful black men that know how to make good music.
Seriously....they know what they are doing...
You should check them out.
Zola is a South AFrican artist that will make you dance.
Corneille is a sexy french artist.

Black men ..are beautiful.

A month left to Cameroon.
The adventure begins.

As for the next month, positivety will take over.

The most ridiculous Halarious Blog you'll see
Check it out..
You wont regret it!


http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

WHEN IT ALL CLICKS!!!!

You know when you have those moments and those times when things just make sense?
My whole I have heard the phrase "Believe in yourself", "life is in your hands", the power of positive thinking...ahh everyone has heard it.

but I'll be the first to admit that it was all just words ...just until recently..today in fact! It just really clicked about how I can make this reality....

I think the first thing is realizing that being positive isnt really about some general thing that you can have instaneously..its something that you have to work at in every moment of your life.

Most importantly..since attitude is the element of our lives that we have most control over...I think its necessary for us to monitor what it is that we say to ourselves when we are walking down the street or in a car or whatever.

Its good to learn these simple but important lessons.

As I'm on my way to going to Cameroon..i know that these things will be very important as the power of the self will be my key in determining weather or not I will succed as an MC member :)


There are so many things in this life that can inspire you....instead of just taking them for granted.

i'm thinking of seeing them as something that I shouldnt take for granted.


Understanding yourself and how you work and what you need are the most important elements of sucess that no one can figure out for you..only u can!

I think that life works in mysterious ways...but the biggest mystery is trying to figure out how you can believe in yourself ...even at the lowest ponts of life...

Cause this is what differeniates between those that make things happen and those that just watch the world go by.
At the end of the day, I want to know that I have accomplished all the things I said I would..because I believed that I could....

I love this picture! Tanks Neha!!
Reminds of the things in life that should not be taken for granted.....and the things that look impossible but are possible! :)



Juanita

Words of Wisdom

"Your greatest challenge isn't someone else. It's the aching in your lungs and the burning in your legs and the voice inside you that yells 'Can't!' But you don't listen. You push harder and hear the voice that whispers 'Can.' And you realize that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are."

Picture of What faith is for me :)

The Invisible world on faith!

So do you have any idea what recycling is? No no...not the kind that has to do with using materials but the kind that has to do with people. The idea is that ideas and messages keep repeating themselves in your life until you find a way to incorporate it into your life. The world is trying to tell you what you need to know.

This is what has happened to me. Through questions about my future, criticisms about who I've become and reflection the message has repeared in my life.
Its time to have faith Juanita. Its time to have faith!

But what does faith mean? Does it just mean putting your hands together in prayer when you feel like life is shit? Does it mean putting a smile on your face when you really want to cry?
What does it mean?

For me, it means that your able to be calm when the whole world is really a storm...cause you believe with all your heart that things are happening for a reason. you believe that things are going the way that they are and that you are doing everything you can to make your vision happen. thtas what faith is.

my minimal amount of faith has caused me many years of worry. Moments of anger and fustration. Days of confusion....that I needed to have in order to realize that life works out for a reason.

But faith is not something that you can acquire in a moment or in a day or with a phrase. It is acquired moment by moment. Its making a choice. A fundamental choice with everything you do in life.
1) Learn from your mistakes and find the humor in the situation.
2) Feel like your the victim and pitty yourself.

*Thanks for sending me the powerpoint ASTI!

These are the two choices we have. Faith enables you to choose teh first one even when it seems impossible to do so. The more you choose option one..the more you find yourself learning and enjoying life instead of being angry and having hatred against something.

The biggest power we have is the power of ourselves. we chose our attitudes and we choose how we will react. By choosing to have faith in every decision....we can chose.
By realizing that in life..in terms of our reactions life comes down to two simple actions....and ways of being..it suddenly becomes easier to understand how people can be optimistic even in the most evil and treaterous situations.

The power of the self is the key to success. For me, all the people I admire have faith.

I am about to be one of them....

So an amazing weekend my friends...I couldnt believe how amazing it was!

1) Cold play concert! rockin out with thousands of people in a spectacular show
For great pictures totally check out: http://emilygjones.fotopic.net
Thank you Emily! :)

2) Amazing and wicked departure party for Harit!
I miss you already my friend! Thank you for the laughs the encouragment and everything that goes along with being a wonderful friend. You will never be forgotten and always remembered. its never good bye its cya later! I miss you already dude.

These are some final words for my soul. As myself will be departing from ottawa..and am in need of paulo the man himself...colhelo :)

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready.

The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

Oh man what a great time! AIESEC Carleton Rockin it out Last nite! I had so much fun!
It is always a wonderful feeling when good people come together to laugh, joke and learn more about the world! Yeah Interns! While I had so much fun, I think it also made me feel weird that in a couple of months I wont be a part of this anymore...well from a distance. Time flies when your having fun. At this moment in time, to be honest, I feel as if I am standing at a cross road in life. At one side, i have never been so sick of school in my life but at teh same time I have never loved a place and a time so much in my life. all the friendship, the memories, the laughter and joy. If uniersity was a person, it would be in the form of a mother (thanks inbal). Someone that has tuaght me so much, has been with me through thick and thin, someone I loved and hated, someone I felt fustration with and someone that I would also feel happy with. Someone that taught me so much about the world and so much about who I am. Which is exactly what my mother has done for me....

As the moments move closer to me being on another adventure and me fulfiling a dream that I have had for some time now, I am so greatful for everything that I have been through adn all the people that I met here. There is no other place that I would have liked to havve been. I accomplished and learnt everythign I could from university. I have become a dreamer and someone that knows how to lead myself to be the person I want to be.

The only thing that will help me to overcome this immense dislike I have for school is the fact that I dont want such a beautiful thing to end so badly. I want to do well you know so that this unviversity experience can end positively and not negatively. Thats the only thing...let the last chapter of this book be closed with a happy ending.

Thanks everybody who's taught me something, made me laugh or cry, made me feel any kind of emotion....as it has made me the person I am today.. a person that I am very proud to be.

ODE TO CARLETON!
A TRIBUTE TO MY FAVORITE ROOM AT CARLETON! THE AIESEC CARLETON OFFICE!
ITS MY LAST DAY OF MY TERM!
SO JUST SOME PICTURES TO REMEMBER!!!!!