So this is something from the lovely VP PD of China Pierre Fritter..I had to take and steal it cause its honestly the most beautiful poem I've ever read.....
Thanks Pierre! :)


So here's something called "The Invitation"... for me it's a call to something bigger than myself.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine your own: if you can dance with the wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the finger and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint others to be true to yourself: if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see the beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from Its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edgeof the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live, or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief anddespair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here, I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and notshrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

WHOA!

My Term is going to be offically over quite soon!

NO more VP OGX for me...

shit!

Oh man.....Honestly I have so many memories so many people to thank so many moments so many people so much so much.....

I loved every minute of being at AIESEC Carleton.

Its changed my life. I've met some of the most beautiful people..I've been through the hardest times, I've experienced so many emotions.....
TEars, fustration, happiness, sadness....

I love this organization. Its made be believe in the power of the individual. We can achieve.
Things that float in our minds can really become reality..if we believe.

I'm very passionate about this organization because it has given me so much..

Im on to another stage of this organization..fulfilling my dream as an MC member in AIESEC Cameroon.

To the incoming team: I think you guys are gong to be great! Sarah my awsome incoming VP OGX...your going to create a legacy that will be hard to beat! I'll make sure of that.....

To all the old EB: you guys have rocked my world man.....

SNs: ahh....just to know that I could impact someone else's life thank you
I hope that you have all benefitted from international experiences
because at the end of the day thats all I ever wanted...

and lastly to Kurt (Bobbie) Archer...
thanks for putting up with my shit and giving me harsh words and words of kindness when I needed it the most
I dont ask you as many questions anymore.....

Well thats my signing off......
VP OGX AIESEC Carleton 2004-2006 (12 lives impacted) :)

The Art of Balance.

How do you know when to hold on to something you believe in and how to do you know when to conform?
Thats honestly a struggle that I've been dealing with my whole life as I think as I've had a tendancy to "stand out." Maybe because of my loud voice, my loud clothles..I'm not quite sure. I just know that its been a reality for me.

Sometimes, I wonder about North American society. Mine and yours. Yours and mine. Everything has a label a boundary and a name regardless of how much we have. Maybe it could be that I've seen what happens when people share all the time...so I have a tendancy to assume that the world we be a better place if we all did the same. Am I being to idealistic?

I've been told my sister...that Im fairly easy to stomp on because I dont think about myself..I think about others first more than I should. Is that a bad thing to do? Not to say that I'm Mother Thersa or anything...but I'm just wondering is it such a bad thing to do to care about others before yourself?

I wonder how people with so little....are more willing to share with people who have so much. I wonder what motivates them to share a piece of bread, water, or vegetables that they have with their neighbors when they should be keeping to themselves.....

Sometimes, I dont feel Canadian at all. With these individualist notions of yours and mine, I dont understand how it fits into my life. But maybe, thats alright. Maybe its good that I have a different point of view.

I guess the only thing really to do is find a balance between what you believe and in being able to conform with the place your in....
Trying to understand where the "other perspective" is coming from...

Maybe its easier to understand...

Maybe we just all need to try and understand each other then. I'm not quite sure though...

Its something to think about isnt it?

Pretty Blah today. I'm feeling kind of lonely me thinks. But honestly, I believe that loneliness is always a cover for something deeper.
To be honest, I feel really empty because I'm going to be graduating soon. Its this on going numbness and I'm not quite sure who to call to explain it to or how to deal with it.
The past five years of my life..have been unviersity. Its soo bittersweet for it to be over and for it to be done. But its all I know so its a bit scary. I wish that everything could come with me when I left. I'm going to miss this feeling of things being familiar. But I spoke to my family today, and I miss them. I really do. Its hard to be away from the most important in people in your life for most of the year. I mean..I do get used to it but there are those days when I just miss the little things.

having my mom cook meals for me and walking into the most beautiful house on earth full of neverending love and goodness. I miss that too. Always there..financially emotionally..always there for me. I miss that too.

I think that this is all a part of life..to move on. Moving on is something that I've never been very good at. I guess when you grow up as an international kid, people are always going away in your life. You dont ever know if you'll see most of them again. That time is coming...I dont know when I'll be back to Ottawa again in all reality.

I wish I could put everything in a bottle. All the people, faces places. Its just been so amazing. Im not quite sure how else to put it..amazing! Well...I told you..loneliness always stems from something else. Always. But...I'll be okay...

I hope that in Cameroon I'll be writing an email like this before I go..cause it means that I've found another home to add to my collection.

Restless. Thats me right now Restless.
Im fidigiting waiting moving pushing going leaving waiting passing time...but never really here.
I think that the time has come for me to start thinking about what it is that I need to have in my life. I need to start thinking in a way that my life i more balanced.
I need to start thinking in a way where I am healthier, happier and most importantly in the present moment.

Don't get me wrong at all. I am greatful for my life. I'm greatful for my freinds. My relationships. My body. My travels. My family. I'm greatful for me. Thats something that cannot be denied. But I find myself constantly searching for more more more. Its seems as if what I have is not enough anymore to make me feel as if I am doing what I want to do-implementing gladiator thinking and living my dream.

For me, what I admire in so many of my heros and friends is that they are able to enjoy life with all its joys and all its misery. I have gotten caught up in a cycle of negativity I think where nothing is every good because something else will always come along thats better. Oh I could be at someone else's house, another school, another place, another time....and I never quite seem to be enjoying the one I'm in.

So I have dreams. We've all got dreams. But me..I would like to become a person who obtains those dreams and enjoys life by using every chance I've got to make a moment. But as with every plan, there must be action. A dream will only remain a dream with a realistic plan to achieve and obtain them. Right now....I've caught running away from the things I need to do.

So...whats the plan? Here it is...the best kinds of plans/the simple kind.
1) Start sleeping at 11am so that I can wake up at six..I'm seriously a morning person and not waking up early really has gotten to me. I love waking up and thinking and watching the world go bye.

2) Have a purpose. I find that my life is more useful and meaningful when I remind myself why I'm doing what I'm doing. Nothing seems like a chore and even the most mundane tasks are exciting...when I am excited I get things done. When I am bored, nothign ever happens.

3) Have more fun. I need to start hanging out and laughing with more people. Latley, I've gotten caugh up in making srue that I run away from the things I have to do that when its time to have fun I have to run in and hide to do the things I should have done.

4) More exercise. I would love to go for 1 hour long walks. I dont see why I cant do this..to clear my mind my conscience my soul. I need to start spending time for myself.

So what is at the root of all this? Really its living in the present moment.
Waking up early, exercising, find purpose in my day..and doing what I got to do and having fun at the end.

This is the kind of life I need for myself. This the kind of life I will create. We aall know what we need. The answers are inside...so I'm going to make it happen.

The truest test of character is will power. So lets test the will power.

The Gladiator Thinking!!!

The Gladiator Thinking!!!

I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning, wow i woke up refressed. Anyways maybe a good time to reflect on my personal philosophies in life. The first time i heard about the gladiator thinking was from my AIESEC mentor (Ejiro Otiotio)

So what is the gladiator thinking?

1. An individual can only achieve as much as he confidently believes he can.

2. Good things come to those who wait with a good plan.

3. As long as you can realistically dream, you can achieve those realistic dreams.

4. You can either consider your present condition in life as your life's destination or as one of the bus stops in your life's journey, the choice is entirely yours.