So here I am..in school...doing a paper when all I can think about really is being in my band and AIESEC of all things...
I'm sick of being in school..as I want to go out there and do something...but at the same time when I say that I acknowelege the reality that I'm one of the few people in this world that can have the chance to get an education which can better my life...
unfortunatly at this moment...there are thousands of people hoping and praying for the opportunity to have access to post-secondary education...
as I start to complain about my boredom with writing papers and exams...my life is suddently put into perspective as I realize that its not so bad to have the chance to better your life and your existence at that....

I've been doing a lot of AIESEC work latley and its been making me realize how much passion I have for the organization and how I hope to be on an MC in Africa next year. I may not make a lot of money but the expereicne that I'll get is what I need to be the community developer I want to be..I feel that and I know that...

So ....let me go back to getting my education knowing that I'm one of the few people in this world that can....
that humbles me and puts all my complaints into place ...makes me realize that life is a crazy thing...the haves and the have nots....
I wish that more of us were the haves instead of the havenots...

When I complain about school I'll come back to this idea and remind myself that I have an opportunity that many of us in this world do not....
and for anyone that reads this blog...
please remember that any time you complain about your family, the weather, you family, your job....there are peopel out there without those things......

I know that I would be a better person if I was more greatful..and sometimes its the touch of a keyboard and some words on a screeen that you need to remind you of how beautiful life is when your surrounded by books, paper, and a computer....getting your undergrad degree....

You know those times those moments those days
when life has ya blue in the face but you still love it
well thats me

Its snowing outside and its so beautiful! I like it..I just wish it wasnt so cold

as for me well I'm feeling stretched and challenged in every way in my life....I've never been so pushed to the limit before as i'm trying to accomplish so much in so little time...
but maybe I just need to enjoy the challenge as opposed to wishing that life was easier

hmmm.....its the onllyway that people get what they want in this world
when they push themselves to be the best under any circumstances
and thats what I must do....

sometimes you think you know but you have no idea....

Well today was an amazing day. I overcame my fickleness.
Well ya see I have a weakness and its called fickleness. from deciding what to eat at a resturant, to my underwear color, to what to put on my pancakes..I have trouble making decisions.
I have trouble leading myself.
Its insane....

So overcame it when my buddy neha decided to tell me truth. Her version of the truth. About my decisions and my life. And I cried. As I never heard such a brutal reality about my world. I had never heard such a brutal reality about my life. At the end of it all, I made a decision a decision to apply and a decision that AIESEC really did fulfil me for now even thought I do have a plan on being a community development officer.

I overcame my fickelness and made my decision to commit to AIESEC and be fulfilled by it. Accept the fact that it does not help the poor. That it does not help the people that need us the most. But it does give us university student the chance to do something powerful: make a difference in the lives of others.

So I'm going to be on an MC next year. Thank you Neha for being you. Your honesty helped me to overcome my fickleness. The first step. One step closer to being a better me.
Do one thing everyday that scares. Today it was making a decision and standing by it.

Neha you'll always be my doppel....

Well here I am with two fabulous people.....tanveer and neha..my two lovely buddies! gotta luv life in ottawa!

Here I am sick as hell....in my own home
these are the pants i've been wearing all week...

at least I have an aiesec shirt on....

sick all week...thats the name of this blog ladies and gentlemen cause thats what I've been!
coughing and incredibly figuring out that there's more inside of my lungs than I ever thought...
surprisingly for the first time in my life I've managed to maintaing some form of optimism even when I should be frowing...

Maybe it was just realizing that life can always be worse..and thats its not so bad to sleep the whole week away..I'm not sure
I'm just glad that I now have a new talent of coughing and laughing at the same time...
Its great to know that optimism can exist even at the most unlikely moements...


so so so...the story goes on and on as ekryah badu has poetically and beautifully told us through her solid voice...
its going on and on to say that I'm happy but I know that I can be better
I know that I can push myself to achieve my goals and work to be more focused to make my 12 goals that I want to happen before I'm thirty to actually become reality...each and every single one of them...

I was once given a card by my dearest friend lauren that
"listen to your wise self: let your inner compass direct the course of your life."

the inner compass is telling me to work harder and be more focused otherwise the goals will never come....
the inner compass is telling me that I must take more responsibility for my life otherwise it'll never happen...
those who dream must work harder...those who push themselves must take a risk in knowing that they are working for a dream ...that will cause them to live outside of their comfort zones...

So I'm happy with life but I'm also unsettled. I also have a huge appetitite for making this dream of mine come true...

So I'll push myself to be more focused because I believe I can..

by the way people.this is what I look like with my favorite pajama pants when I'm sick..
I'm still a cutie patutie huh?
If only charcoal could look this cute...

Craazy man!
How times flies! To be honest I can't sleep as there's so much going through my head and through my mind.
At this point in time I've decided that I cant let time run my life as I must control time. Time management is a battle that i face every day....I dont have enough time in the day to do a ll things I want..its so fustrating.
But i know its possible as it will just take discpline and determination. I can do it!

Sheniz is finally in baroda india the place where i did my ceed! Such a rewarding experience..my SN (matching over three contients) freaking awsome man! Concieve. Believe. Achieve. (thank you IC)

As for life right now its been great but so so so so challenging. Its hard to wake up every day in the morning stare at a vision and realize that you have so many things to do before you get there.
I think at this point the bottom line is that I need to start trusting that inner voice within me so much more often. Maybe thats whats lacking right now as I feel that I'm doing all the right things.

LIfe is awsome just to know that your doing thing sthat you feel passionate about gives you the discipline you need to make them happen.
the best part of it that there are millions of people out there who are living there dreams and i am greatful to be one of them.
cheers to dreams, hard work, and passion.

juanita