So what have I really learnt from this life changing CEED experience?

Before I believed that Canada was the only home I had in the world.
Before I thought I knew what I wanted with my life.
Before, I believed that I would know all the people in canada all my life.
Before, I never really believed in myself.

so whats up now?
I'm going back to a place that I value but I realize that Canada is not the only home I have. Home is where I am. Home is where I make it.
When you leave a place, relationships change. People change. I'm starting to think that that the only person that will be with you throughout your whole life is you. Your you're only best friend. There's so many people in the world...so many all over the world that you'll know some more than others. You'll be able to see some more than others. But, some will pass. And some will reach inside and touch your heart and you'll stay in touch with them. You wont know everyone forever...

I havent been in touch with very many people form canada...six people....
Before I was scared to go back to my country....but im not expecting for people to open me with open arms..nor am I expecting people to listen to my stories....I am not expecting the world to stop for me
because I know it wont
I'm expecting that I'm going ot hvae to strong...stronger than ever..to adapt to the fact that Canada is not home for me..
But I will laugh. And I will cry. But one things for sure: I want this semister to feel like the worst and best of my life
i would have made a difference...

Baroda has showed me that time or space or cultural differences are not barriers for accomplishment
the main barrier for accomplishment is yourself as every other barrier can be overcome...

so...I've changed quite a bit
and its going to be challenging to go back to a place that does not feel like home
a place that i'm not connected to
a place that seems like a series of buildings..people...
my heart isnt there....

but my heart was once in canada..and its has transformed
through patience and persistence that transformation will happen again
Juanita

Also I've learnt that with eerything in life you must know why your doing it
thats what went wrong with you can..i didnt know why I was doing it so I couldnt create my role
you have to create your own role
you have to create your own purpose
your own vision
because chances are people arent going to create it for you
the question is why are you doing what your doing?

So another adventure begins for me..me Juanita Kwarteng
Its been a summer of dreams. A summer like no other. For as long as I could remember, I 've been afriad of living. My mom has been trying to tell me this for awhile..but it was not until this summer I understood. I never believe that I could make my dreams come true so I ran away from in the sense that I would fail. Call it lack of confidence. Lack of convinction. Its who I was. I was not a dreamer nor a person that was ever destined for success because I didnt think it could happen to a girl like me.

But for the first time in my life, I went for it. I went for the dream. I went for the dream of going to India. I had been to India when I was fifteen and I had always wanted to go back. But there were many things that plagued me. For example, I was not very content with my LC, I was sick, and I was tired of living my life based on the ideas of others. But I went for it anyways because I was tired of looking at other people achieving their dreams and watching mine fade away into the wind. I was tired of congratulating everyone but myself. I was tired of wishing that I was someone else. That despiration to see the person I could be inspired me to take a journey like no other. Inspired me to live my first dream: my CEED in Baroda!

Its fucking brilliant! The conferences, the debates, the heat, the poverty, the floods, the people...its the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But I did it. For the first time I concieved, believed, and achieved. I've noticed that some people grow up with this feeling and have it their whole lives. While there are others where it takes time to be nurtured and develop..like me!

For the first time, I'm happy being me. I'm happy being me because I have the ability to make all my dreams come true any second any moment of my life. Thats makes me proud and makes me want to be bigger than I've ever been. The biggest battles we fight will always be within us and I have doubt that will continue on my entire life. I will use my will power to make all my dreams come true.

To be honest, Im not sure who to thank for this new found revelation-all my amazing friends at AIESEC baroda, the crazy reality that I was living in Canada, my parents, my grandmother..god...everyone I've met a long the way.i'm not sure to be honest. I'm thinking everybody.

The biggest gift that this summer has given me is the power to believe in myself. The power of my dreams, the power of discipling your mind and soul so that you can work towards everything you want in life. I think that working for your dreams is a harder route to take in life but more rewarding. Its hard to rise and fall...its hard to look at situations and circumstances and be optimistic. But if you believe you can concieve and can achieve....(thank you IC)

So I thank the world Im thankful for myself and my life because I know that I will be successful...I know that shit will hit the fan and I'll ge through it because I believe that I will.
Thanks AIESEC Baroda..thank you aiesec..thank you friends ,thank you family, thank you god...

I'm starting a new adventure in my life. I'm going to back to Canada as a different person. I've changed in the sense that I believe in myself more. I believe that home is inside a travelling nomad as the most difficult thing about travelling is that you have to leave a part of you behind so with so many homes around the world its hard to have one...so you lock everything inside of you..and you take all your homes with you everywhere you go.

adios world
juanita