Bald Head and a Dark Interview

My god I see them everyday. These women walking around Cameroon with little hair on their head, just like the beautiful Alek Wek and gorgeous bodies and huge earings. I have seen them everyday since I have been here.I love it. I think its so beautiful that women could look to natural and still be so beautiful. NO fucking extension hair or makeup. Just purely natural. I decided that I was going to take the bold step to be one of them.

I was so tired of having to sit in the salon and rely on fake hair to feel beautiful. I wanted to try it. Women all over the world have pressures to be beautiful. By men, By women. BY families..what it would be like to define what beautiful means to me? I guess its deeper than just cutting off my hair. Its making a point that I could feel beautiful in one of my most natural forms.

Latley. Whenever I have looked at myself I Cant believe its me. I look so good. Its nice to see yourself as b eautiful. But beautiful without that much hair. Now that’s another level. It something that I was always curious about and admired. Women can be so beautiful without hair. Well not that much of it anyways.

So I went to the salon. Communicated what I wanted. Or so I thought. The guy took a fuckin razor to my fro and chopped it off in like 10 minutes. I started to pout. To cry inside. To kick to scream. It was too short. The guy ended up cutting it too short. Fuck. I looked like a man. I looked like a man with earings and tits. I didn’t look anything like those women. My hair was too short. I was so pissed off I left the salon. Came back to my room and started crying because I thought I looked bad. I thought I looked like an akward he she with tits. Not like the women I see on the streets at all. It was too short. I cried. I pouted. Luckily, my lovely team mate Stephanie came and told me that I still looked good.

In her famous statement, “there’s nothing to do. There’s nothing to do” I got up..went to eat and accepted the fact that being bold has its risks.

So at the end of it all, while I am bald…I really feel different. Its amazing feeling to not have any hair. Its like this incredible feeling to be so natural about things. So I find myself…still in shock but bit by little hair on their heads. I am for the first time experiencing something that I have wanted to experience: to be beautiful with short hair. To be natural and still feel beautiful. Somehow society tells us that we need hair to be beautiful…but its hard to break the norm I wanted to try it because I believed that I could be beautiful..and Im finding that I still am. With or without hair.

To be honest, Im going to grow it back. I’m missing my extentions already. But this experience is something that I have been curious about..and so glad I did it. I wanted to feel confident. Confident that I can feel beautiful no matter what kind of hair I have. I can feel beautiful on my own terms.

I know that the biggest thing that I need to be success is self love . Its like appreciating yourself for what you are. Instead of trying to recreate yourself. So I wanted to try it with beauty. Looking at myself in a natural way…just trying to appreciate my natural beauty. Why should I have anyone else tell me I’m beautiful? Why should other people be the only ones that say it?

Also today, I did an interview in the dark. Four interviews actually for our exchange program. The lights went out in our office/house. So imagine me with a table outside, with my laptop for light, and asking questions. Selection process in the dark . Only in Cameroon. The best part of it was that I was completely calm. It seemed normal almost. Like I was just like..alright black out. We’ll do it outside. Nothing stopped. Everything continued and the interviews got done. So this is what I love about my contient: people find a way to make things happen. I find myself becoming more African by the day.

So I cut my hair and did an interview in the dark. I cried a bit. But laughed a lot. Ahh..I’m telling you come to Africa. It’ll change your life.