Restless. Thats me right now Restless.
Im fidigiting waiting moving pushing going leaving waiting passing time...but never really here.
I think that the time has come for me to start thinking about what it is that I need to have in my life. I need to start thinking in a way that my life i more balanced.
I need to start thinking in a way where I am healthier, happier and most importantly in the present moment.

Don't get me wrong at all. I am greatful for my life. I'm greatful for my freinds. My relationships. My body. My travels. My family. I'm greatful for me. Thats something that cannot be denied. But I find myself constantly searching for more more more. Its seems as if what I have is not enough anymore to make me feel as if I am doing what I want to do-implementing gladiator thinking and living my dream.

For me, what I admire in so many of my heros and friends is that they are able to enjoy life with all its joys and all its misery. I have gotten caught up in a cycle of negativity I think where nothing is every good because something else will always come along thats better. Oh I could be at someone else's house, another school, another place, another time....and I never quite seem to be enjoying the one I'm in.

So I have dreams. We've all got dreams. But me..I would like to become a person who obtains those dreams and enjoys life by using every chance I've got to make a moment. But as with every plan, there must be action. A dream will only remain a dream with a realistic plan to achieve and obtain them. Right now....I've caught running away from the things I need to do.

So...whats the plan? Here it is...the best kinds of plans/the simple kind.
1) Start sleeping at 11am so that I can wake up at six..I'm seriously a morning person and not waking up early really has gotten to me. I love waking up and thinking and watching the world go bye.

2) Have a purpose. I find that my life is more useful and meaningful when I remind myself why I'm doing what I'm doing. Nothing seems like a chore and even the most mundane tasks are exciting...when I am excited I get things done. When I am bored, nothign ever happens.

3) Have more fun. I need to start hanging out and laughing with more people. Latley, I've gotten caugh up in making srue that I run away from the things I have to do that when its time to have fun I have to run in and hide to do the things I should have done.

4) More exercise. I would love to go for 1 hour long walks. I dont see why I cant do this..to clear my mind my conscience my soul. I need to start spending time for myself.

So what is at the root of all this? Really its living in the present moment.
Waking up early, exercising, find purpose in my day..and doing what I got to do and having fun at the end.

This is the kind of life I need for myself. This the kind of life I will create. We aall know what we need. The answers are inside...so I'm going to make it happen.

The truest test of character is will power. So lets test the will power.